Tag Archives: First Watch

Catching Up: Wonder Woman (+ Commentary on the DCEU as a Whole)

Rating: 3 out of 5.

(Reviewed March 25th, 2021)

*Before I go into the details of my review, I first want to say that I’ll be throwing in spoilers from the Zack Snyder cut of Justice League since that’s the only JL I’ve seen as of now. 
My interpretation of this movie stems from that and other scattered DCEU movies I’m catching up on so if you want to avoid spoilers of Snyder’s JL, Man of Steel, Batman vs. Superman, Shazam, and Aquaman, come back later 🙂
Also, I’ll have spoilers in this review as well for Wonder Woman.
Also there is MCU spoilers as well. 🤣*

But anyways, yeah… three stars? On Wonder Woman??? How dare. Well lemme explain 😅

Halfway through the movie I had my heart set on giving this the prized five stars. Diana is an ENFJ and I love her! All the scenes of her and Steve in London onwards gave such a fascinating commentary on how men and women were treated back in the 1900: and I loved the direction of where things were going.

As the story unfolded and the scene in which Diane stepped out into No Man’s Land because she couldn’t handle not helping other and courageously going to fight the Germans, I realized that she is in fact my favorite DC character! 

But then I also came upon the revelation of why I like the MCU over the DCEU simultaneously at the same time.

When I watch Captain America: The First Avenger, I’m watching a movie about a man who inherits super strength and struggles in knowing what’s his purpose. 
He goes through the movie becoming a war hero and proves to everyone how big his heart is and that things aren’t about himself but others. And so to save a bunch of people from dying, he defeats the Red Skull and crashes into the water and at the time he knows he’s gonna die. 
He doesn’t, but at the time he didn’t know that. He was sacrificing his life for the greater good.

In Iron Man, we see Tony Stark, a billionaire who’s a narcissist that’s gets kidnapped by terrorist and is tortured and after a man sacrifices his life for him, he sees the world through a different lenses and from his trauma, he tries to protect the world – even going to extremes of saying that he would put a shield of armour around the world to protect it. 

In Thor, we see a Greek god who is very arrogant and naive and one day he goes too far and so his father Odin strips him of his power and sends him to the mortal world. 
We see him internally struggle finding what his purpose is until Loki decides to attack and then Thor – having experienced what it’s like to be a human by being with Jane Foster – sacrifices himself (and also I haven’t seen this movie in a while so I may have butchered some details but you get the gist xD)

There are a million other marvel movies I can summarize, but the point of the matter is a majority of them follow a same pattern. 
The movies values weakness first, then strength. 

…Ant-Man: Reckless and irresponsible; but because of not feeling enough.

Spider-Man: Ignorant and Persistent; but because he feels like he needs to prove himself.

Black Panther: Cautious and hesitant; but because he’s insecure he’s got what it takes to be a good king.

The point of all of this is that these characters are flawed. They feel human and relatable and the reason a lot of them are endearing to so many people.

I also want to first address before going on that this is all focused on the MCU versions of the characters and not the other iterations of them. The same for where I’m going with the DCEU versions of their characters.

Now: in comparison…

Man of Steel (gah I haven’t seen this in a while; bear with me 🤣): Clark’s home planet is destroyed and his parents send him out on a pod to earth. There, he is raised by a couple on a farm. 
He meets a news reporter, Lois Lane, and fights Zod, who wants to destroy earth and Clark saves the world of humans that he cares about so much because of the beauty in their humanity.

Wonder Woman: Diana is an Amazonian and daughter of the Queen of the Amazonians when she comes across a man on a plane who’s about to die and she saves his life. When he shares the the world is at war, she feels compassion for him and goes off to stop the spirit of the God of War, Ares. 
When she kills the German general and the Germans still plans on sending out the gas the will kill millions, she realizes how corrupt and easily influenced humanity is. 
But after witnessing Steve’s sacrifices by giving up his life to save millions from dying, she sees there is still good in humanity and stops Ares once and for all.

Clark is caring and compassionate, but also resentful to the point where he can become a scary force to be reckoned with.

Diana is empathetic and compassionate as well, but also self-righteous and could possibly become cold and judgemental about others to the point where she might shun helping humanity altogether.

And even though you can relate to their empathy, there is something so condescending about them at the same time. This superiority complex that isn’t really addressed.

DC values greatness first, then weakness. 

And this isn’t just applicable to the “godlike” characters.

Batman: Very articulate about his every move and understands how people operate, but also hes a know it all and has a superior arrogance about himself.

The Flash: Hes a loveable dork who is super fast and is trying to figure out who killed his mother so he can get his father out of jail who’s falsely accused, but he’s also very reckless and sort of self-absorbed to the point in which he doesn’t seem too attuned with how others around him feel.

Cyborg: Hes like the surveillance camera of the world because he’s the product of an experimentation done by his own father, buts he’s also very bitter and rude to everyone around him.

Once I got to the last 30 minutes of Wonder Woman and after enjoying it so much, all of it just clicked as to why I was feeling so disconnected and why all the DC films felt off. 
I was struggling to relate to any of them. I mean, sure I can relate and even put myself in these characters shoes from their perspective, but as soon as I jumped into their POV, I didn’t like being them – if that makes sense.

I didn’t want to be Superman because I would resent humanity too if I was perfect and being treated unfairly for doing nothing wrong.

I didn’t want to be Batman because if I would be annoyed as well because no one cares about how I feel and that my parents died; they only see me as the rich guy that can be taken advantage of.

I didn’t want to be Wonder Woman because I would hate to be dismissed all the time over human matters even though I was right. 

I don’t want to watch movies about perfect or innocent people learning about being human. 

I want to watch movies about corrupted humans learning the consequences of their bad behavior or be put in situations that test their characters. 

I want to watch Natasha Romanoff hide behind a mask of a stoic, cold agent because when she was vulnerable and at her lowest bad things happened and she did bad things and now she’s on her own mission to convince everyone she’s a good person – including herself.

I want to see Wanda creating her own alternate reality and block out the rest of the world as she tries to deal with her trauma by herself without no ones help.

I want to see Sam Wilson step up and advocate for himself. I want to see Bucky Barnes make amends for things out of his control. I want to see Loki do things for others instead of himself.

In Man of Steel, I cared about Lois the most and throughout Snyder’s Justice League, every scene with her dealing with loss and depression was relatable. I’ve experienced those things.

In Birds of Prey, I cared about Cassandra Cain the most who is just a little girl fending for herself in the midst of several very mental unstable characters (and I’m still very worried about her after that movie tbh 😬).

In Wonder Woman, I cared about Steve the most because he came to terms emotionally in what he was fighting for and sacrificed his life by jumping onto the plane and became a hero.

Those three characters mentioned above are more heroes then the heroes of those films. Because all of the main “heroes” of those films are just fake gods designed for the audience to praise and bask in their greatness over their self indulged self righteous.

There is a reason why too; look at Zack Snyder’s personality as his vision is very reflected in those movies, the good and the bad.

And now as this review is just turning into a critic of the DCEU as a whole…
Let’s just say this: We have Shazam! That doesn’t fall into this rut for the most part and then for the MCU we have Captain Marvel that does fall into this superiority complex for the most part. 

But considering the direction MCU is going – weakness first; greatness second – and where the DCEU is going – greatness first, weakness second – we better see more consequences of weak characters traits in DCEU films or in the future Warner Bros. is never gonna recover from the errors in the designs of Zack Snyder’s theme structure.

I have a rekindled hope after watching the Snydercut JL and there was a lot of very good things in that – but I also see the recurring theme of “Holier Than Thou” seeping through the film.

Thank you for reading because like idk where this passion comes from sometimes. 0.0 🤣

Movie Review: Spirit Untamed

Rating: 2 out of 5.


…What a nightmare experience I had with this film…

~

*flashback*

  • – ...Help me. I’m surrounded by families with children under the age of 10 in a theater for a movie I thought was about a horse named Spirit from my childhood but instead it’s about this girl named Lucky and I have made a huge mistake not looking more into this movie before seeing this. D:
  • – “Mom, can you come pick me up; I’m scared.”
  • Ugh, well that’s over as well as a 15 minute nap…
  • – I guess the review for this is that even as a film targeted to little kids, it’s not even that good or memorable. Compare this to the Curious George movie – which is also targeted to little kids – and Spirit Untamed doesn’t engage or captive through its visuals or heartwarming innocence like George does. It just falls flat. 
  • Now I need to sneak out of this theatre and die. Bye.

~

…Yeah… I should also note that the realization of my mistake started to form when the trailers started playing and the first one that started was the Paw Patrol trailer and I was like 0.0

And then 3 movie kid centric trailers began to play and I just knew the predicament I was in and I was trapped. 🤣

But anyway, I wanted to just write out a full review because I have more thoughts about the movie now.

I haven’t seen Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarrion in years, so maybe my memory of it isn’t accurate. But, I know for a fact the the tone of that film is vastly different than the tone of this film.

Spirit was one of those childhood films that stuck with me. I had a vhs of it and when you are 4 years old, you tend to watch stuff repeatedly. For me it was Aladdin, The Emperor’s New Groove, Tarzan, Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie, Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius, and then Spirit.

I also saw Spirit on a special occasion with friends during a 5 dollar kids film event at a movie theater in 2005 and then got obsessed with it once more and had another time where I would go to and watch it.

And that movie was a classic! It really effected me with its message and it’s more intense drama centric story. It represented Native American culture as well as showed us the negative effects of the colonial era. It didn’t cut corners and it had a nuance and realism to the story. It helped my childhood development by showing me there are layers to human nature and how a lot of times, humans can do the most vile things if they put their minds to it.

But what I also loved about Spirit was that the title fit the horse protagonist that we followed throughout the film, but as well as the wild horses and the indigenous culture. And how by spirit (High Hopes by Panic at the Disco is coming to my mind as I write this), they pushed through and it gave us a very well delivered and satisfying happy ending in the film. It was also opened ended to where you didn’t know what happened to these characters next, but you didn’t have to. The movie ended with the horses running free and that’s all we needed to see.

Now compare this to the now released Spirit Untamed and the movies are like night and day.

Untamed is a kid centric film that makes it VERY difficult for adults to find interest in it. It sugarcoats reality of the 1800s and the main city that our main character, Lucky, travels to and eventually lives in is like this surreal utopia of the 1800s where everyone is inclusive of everyone’s race and the main threat is a group of horse wranglers that treat horse poorly.

I think what makes this movie even more frustrating to watch is how much it is oozing with story potential, but it keeps shying away from the more difficult topics of the themes for the sake of keeping this movie rated G.

And that would be fine because you could work around things creatively to not blatantly explain why Lucky lives with her Aunt instead of her father, why or how her mother died, why she has this curious George syndrome, why the consequences of her poor decisions matter or even how they effect…

But for the most part things are left unaddressed and addressed very briefly that kind of leaves me – the audience- sort of…bored because I have predicted the story from beginning to end and have nothing to grasp onto for critical thinking or to keep me interested in watching more.

I took a 15 minute nap during the more adventure part of the film and woke up and felt like I didn’t miss anything because nothing substantial happened within the adventure element. It was like a Dora the Explorer episode (we have to travel across point a, then get to point b, so we can make it to point c and save the horses! Come on, vamanos! 🎶)

And what makes that even worse is that the main supporting characters literally pulled out a map and explained to Lucky where they had to go.

I. Was. So. Bored.

There was so much they could have polished out to make this movie better. We could have learned more about Lucky’s Hispanic heritage and maybe even get a perspective of how it was like for them to be living in the 1800s America. We could have had scenes similar to How to Train Your Dragon, Big Hero 6, Curious George – or heck, even the abomination of Abominable as an example- with the dynamic between Lucky and Spirit, but they underplayed that relationship to. When we got to the goodbye scene to where the horses had to depart, I didn’t feel the emotions or was satisfied because of how lackluster the relationship was between them.

There is so much more I can mention, but I’m pretty sure I covered the big parts and you get the gist of what this film means to me (…it means nothing btw 🤣)

It was saddening to watch this, knowing that kids aren’t getting as powerful messages as I was as a kid. It almost makes me want to purge through kid films that are being released now and sort out which ones have strong messages for my little brother and little cousin to watch and learn from because after this terrible movie, there has to be better…

But also on the other hand, maybe I’m an adult forgetting what it was like to be a kid and be impacted by everything and I’m being overly critical of the kid films that kids growing up are watching now compared to the masterpieces I grew up with. …BUT ALSO, you gotta admit I got a point when I say “I grew up with the original Spirit movie and it was 20x better so there! Now go and play more FORTNITE, TIMMY!”

Movie Review: A Quiet Place Part II

Rating: 5 out of 5.

(Reviewed on May 27th, 2021)

This was an adrenaline 👏 rush👏from👏beginning👏to👏end.

When the pandemic started last year and postponed this movie to its grave, I vowed to watch this movie in theatres and I wasn’t gonna watch it any other way.
The first movie was an experience that I remember so fondly! It was a pretty full theatre – opening night – and a lot of chatter going on. But then as soon as the movie started, the room was dead silent; then it remained that way until the credits rolled on the screen and there were scattered gasps and sighs of relief since we collectively were all held captive against our will by that gosh darn movie.
…..AND BY GOLLY DID I EXPERIENCE DÉJÀ VU BECAUSE THE EXACT SAME THING HAPPENED.

Except this time it was so so much worse than poor little me could imagine. The intensity was strong in this “little scary movie sequel underdog that could on steroids” type machine.
Oh. My. GOSH. What an experience!!!!

I think it’s no coincidence that I’ve started binge watching the anime, Attack On Titan, before coming to see watch A Quiet Place 2 had to offer. They both share a similar vibe of mystery and thrill and intrigue to them even though they are completely different in their narrative; but I can connect comparisons so easily between them (as well as my brain is drifting into the imagination of how much better A Quiet Place would be if it was adapted into an anime!)

ANYWAY, ANYWAY.
Cons:
–  It ended. 
– It ended way too abruptly.
– When is part III coming out because like, that’s a crime to end it. 🤣

And see, I was very skeptical about a second film. A Quiet Place didn’t NEED a second film and in many ways I still stand by that.
BUT, after the first 15 minutes of the sequel and getting so so much more lore and more of the “narrative mystery box” growing in its craft, my heart immediately changed its mind in a full 180 and said, “IM STARVING FOR MORE OF THIS STORY WORLD.” So if you are going to make a movie like this, DEAR KRASINSKI AND BLUNT… UM, ISTG YOU JUST MIGHT AS WELL GO ALL OUT AND MAKE 20 OF THESE GOSH DARN FILMS.
AS WELL AS THE ANIMATED TV SERIES, THE SPINOFF MOVIES, PREQUELS, A THEME PARK.
Because I love these very stupid characters and their questionable decision that don’t make you roll your eyes, but instead makes your insides groan in pain because you are hold back the screams for them because you love them
And the story, like, I know what’s going on, what’s happening in front of me on the screen, BUT DANG NABBIT JUST TELL ME STRAIGHT UP WHAT THE F IS GOING ON BECAUSE OH MY GAAAAAAAAWWWSSH.

((Hello, mom, can you come pick me up? Luke found a new franchise to obsess over…and… I’m scared))

…I’m so glad movies are coming out now and I can review more in the theater and put a premier AMC stubs membership in good use. And to start off with this movie; oh boy, it’s gonna be so hard for any future movie to compete because the bar has been SET.

Let’s goooooooooooooo
(I’m such a nerd ahfhcuagag 💀)

Movie Review: Those Who Wish Me Dead

Rating: 4 out of 5.

“I’m so sorry, son.”
“You did the right thing (though), right?”
“Right. I’m still sorry.”

*This review is gonna indirectly allude to spoilers for anyone reading fyi*

So in storytelling, what I’ve been told as a lesson from several people whenever I do creative writing is to make sure you make the first page of the novel straight up intriguing. Not too much, not too little, but just enough to draw the reader in and grab their attention. The first page is everything.

As is the first 5 minutes of a movie. Because it should set up what you are looking forward too. And those first two scenes in this movie pretty much told you what this movie is very straightforwardly with no shame – but without giving away anything about what the film was about.

I could continue on, but my point with that is that I really respect how Those Who Want Me Dead followed storytelling formula like it was a blueprint and everything about this movie screams interesting. 
– Look at the Letterboxd description for this movie and you know what I’m talking about.

I love thriller so this movie was like delivered to me handtied in a basket. Heck, I write thriller, so of course I’m also gonna really critically analyze the life out of this film. Also, I do have a bed time I need to abide to too so I can’t just write a review about this movie forever either.

So here are a few scattered thoughts I had about the movie.

1. Angelina Jolie’s character is a national treasure and I loved everything about her character development. If for any of the reason to watch this film, at least do it for this because she is such an incredible versatile actress that gets to the heart of any character so well. 

2. Since 1 was a given, I’ll continue by saying that all of the key characters in this are very very likeable. And what makes it so suspenseful is that because they are likeable – and the stakes in the film are higher than the forest fire presented in the film – you are on the edge of your seat with complete anxiety because you don’t want anything to happen to them. Why?…

3. …The two villains in this movie is very disturbing and very evil. And they have no character development at all – which, bizarre enough, makes them work even more. They are straight up hired assassin who are psychopaths, literally. 
Throughout the entire film, they present little to no empathy for any of the characters, even for each other. And there is so many layers to their chemistry. It feels like the older one is already lost on his path of evil and he plays as an influencer to the younger one. Usually, the villain who is just evil with no redeeming qualities are the ones that are the least interesting, but the reason they are so fascinating and intriguing is…

4. …They have motivations and personality. All the good characters have motivations that you are rooting for while the villains motivations continually spiral into more and more chaotic ways to reach their goal. It turned the whole forest to an equivalent of a cat and mouse chase on a chess board is the best way I can describe it.

5. The character interactions are genuine and human and raw. The dialogue is written immensely well. Every five minutes I wanted to pick up my phone and write stuff down, but I was too engaged with the movie that my eyes were glued to the screen. There are so many quotes I’m gonna use and reference to this film just because they are that good.

Cons:
– The main storyline in of itself is a plot hole; but the story itself – once it gets going – leaves you not caring about the plot hole because what is happening with the characters is so interesting already.
– There were foreshadowings that happened – multiple times – that didn’t lead… anywhere at all. (Where did that freaking horse go I just- 🤣)
– I know fire is hard to animate, and this definitely has CGI fire syndrome. But it doesn’t distract too much from the story or really take away any dispension of believe.

I’ve seen 8 reviews that’s gave this five 2 and a half star or under… which really threw me for a loop. 
But I enjoyed it very much so and it really put my Myers Briggs INFP motor going so…
Don’t go with the general consensus of things – whether it’s all hate or all hype. That’s one side of the pendulum – the other being don’t be too closed minded to where you only like a particular movie and that’s it.
Be open minded. Express your own opinions and thoughts. And have backbone and hold firm to you values and beliefs (I respect the sheriff in this movie for this mentality).

Anyways, good film, can’t wait to watch it again 😀

Movie Review: Cruella

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Imagine if you were watching a pyschological crime thriller through the perspective of a villain psychopath; except make it Disneyfied.

Does that mean that because it’s more light, it defeats the purpose of that sort of genre? Or does that mean it still has that Disney magic without it being to dark and heavy – so I can let my kids see it? What does this description exactly entail….

I DONT KNOW cause I’m trying to figure out what this movie makes me feel too.

But since we are delving somewhat into the what if’s of psychopathy with this film, made that is how you are suppose to feel; that you don’t know what to feel.

Anyway, with that said, lemme just do a brief history of the remake era of Disney (please skip this paragraph if you don’t care.
The first thing I remember from Disney’s stir craze of “what if we used our original source materials and redid them” was Maleficent. That movie was very special to me because it was something I never saw before. Context to a villain and the reasonings for who the villain is the way they are – from their perspective. 
…Then they went all ham and flipped a 180 and decided “let’s just remake our animated films in live action form.” And honest to God – this is a hot take – that was a brilliant idea from a marketing and business standpoint because Gen Z is so nostalgic over everything to the point where I cried over having to use a different type of toothbrush than I usually use and had to find one of the same brand. 😅 
So I despite all the controversy over the remakes, I truly don’t mind them unless they are entertaining.
But then because of the backlash of the remakes being to similar to their predecessors; Disney messed around a bit. 
We got Christopher Robin; I was very excited for, but it turned out to be incredibly dull and lifeless. 
We got Aladdin; which changes thing around just enough to make it very fun and it’s my favorite out of the remakes.
And then we got… Mulan *SHUDDERS* where it just…flopped because….THEY WERE PRESSURED TO MAKE SOMETHING DIFFERENT WHEN THEY SHOULD HAVE JUST STUCK TO SCENE BY SCENE ADAPTATION OF IT. 
*heavy breathing*
But there is a very picky fan base that Disney is playing fire with right now.

And that brings up to Cruella (to continue to real review here 😅)

Cruella is a very experimental film from Disney, and that is a treat because that hasn’t happened in a long time or never – at least like this before.
And my expectations for this movie was just simply as scattered brained as the narrative; didn’t know what to expect, but knowing Cruella (Once Upon A Time fans, where u at?), I knew this BETTER be a ride about a character that doesn’t get redeemed.

BUT FIRST, lemme talk about the cinematography and soundtrack for this film. Because that was the highlight for me.

For the first half of the movie, it feels like songs from the 70s blare every thirty seconds in the film. What that tells me is that Estelle’s brain is exploding with naive, mischievous, thoughts and they are just screaming as loud and obnoxious as the soundtrack. 

And the way this is film???? OH GOSH, like, we are zipping down a hallway in one scene, cutting back to an imaginative scenario in Estella’s head, and things are getting through left and right at us. It’s a lot of information to take in, but it’s also a collective, organized chaos so you never feel lost in the story or confused about the plot and/or details (*coughcough looking at you Birds of Prey; take some notes *coughcough*)

But then on the second half of the movie, the 70s music starts to die out as we venture out of the lighthearted shenanigans of the film into the more raw emotional and intriguing plot twists of the film. The soundtrack begins to sound more like a movie’s soundtrack – dark and menancing – seeking for revenge type vibes and the song selections are more of the edgy type songs.

The filming is also at a slower pace to let you soak in all of the nuances and bitterness felt within Estelle

As the credits rolled and the Cruella theme song played in a haunting and menancing way, I had chills. The whole mood was ominous and I felt like something bad was gonna happen.

And honestly, I wouldn’t want to feel any other way from Cruella. This is exactly how I wanted to feel when I was so worried they were gonna give Cruella the Maleficent treatment and lessen her problematic behavior and vileness. 

And they didn’t; but not in the way you’d expect it. The movie is definitely Disneyfied and it treads softly on its more darker elements and themes – but I wouldn’t change that as well.

I have more I want to say and I’ll list it here so I can save it for a second review with spoilers (and I will watch and review this again cause I really enjoyed this a lot from a psychology nerd standpoint); but I think I’ll just leave it here.

But I do want to touch on these parts of the movie eventually:
– Mental Illness
– Jasper and Horace
– Connections to 101 Dalmatians
– The Baronness
– The Fashion Elements of the film.

This movie is a mess and it’s so experimental that I can see how this will have a variety of opinions. Some will get off put by the film, some will take it too seriously, some will take it too lightly.
Some will be inspired, some will be disturbed.
It’s controversial and the most wildcard movie Disney has ever put out in a minute.
But that’s exactly who Cruella is. Messy, Mischievous, Controversial, some may say she’s “the devil,” but it’s also one hell of a ride and a whole lot of fun.

P.S.
Emma Stone needs to win some sort of award for this film, I don’t care if it’s Disney, it needs to happen. Her performance was so good in this film that I forgot that she was the main star of the film and all I could see was Cruella. It would be a crime if she doesn’t getting anything from this because she KILLED this like a particular dog coat.

Movie Review: Infidel

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Notes:

– Before: No expections, going into this movie completely blind, this year has been so spontaneous when it comes to movies (and just a really bad year in general) so let’s see how this one goes ☺️

– I’m honestly kind of really excited to see this especially with how it was set up. I haven’t seen a movie of this genre for years so this will be different

– within the first 5 minutes of the movie, this one character has said the title of the movie like 7 times. Yeah, they are infidels we get it.

– Dialogue is super weird.

– Oh, this dance scene… it’s filmed so cringe D:

– “oh my infidel fren, u such an infidel.” X_X okay, there is an obsession with this word.

– Why are the characters acting like they know each other so well and then I’m not included. They aren’t convincing me of their chemistry at all.

– I’m now worried about this movie…. maybe when some action starts popping off is where I’ll be all excited xD

– Ugh, like it looks like this can be really good but the acting is really throwing me off unfortunately.

– I feel so out of the loop in the story. Like as a viewer, I should feel involved and the dialogue and acting keeps excluding me from being immersed within the story.

– the mystery elements are okay so far… its bringing me hope that this picks up soon. We’ve had no action so far and that’s what I’m looking forward to right now xD

– We are on exposition scene ten.

– ….one thing that I’ve learned from creative writing and storytelling in the past is this rule that remains at a forefront of my head is: show don’t tell. This whole scene laid out that the MC is a Christian, that wife wants a baby, etc, all in dialogue form. That’s so lazy and boring.

– oh man, SEEE SHOOOOOOW! But just afsgdh. They showed a flashback and had a scene of dialogue before that wasn’t necessary and just- oh dear. X_X

– I’m feeling none of the emotions and I’m very upset because I want to, but the acting is not compelling enough.

– I don’t like how the MC is a more toxic Christian. As a Christian myself, I see he subtle judgemental behavior and I just eyeroll. It gives Christianity a bad representation and I really want a more compelling and genuine representation of what Christianity really is because this just makes me so… mad. He glares at wife when she says she gives up on God; he has a fake smile and persona…

– As I keep watching, maybe that is the point of the movie and I’m analyzing too soon. Because wife is reacting as like “oh no” to his spiritual rant on television and like… hmmmmm

– yeah, I’m flipping around. Maybe the narrative is showing the toxic side of Christianity in a negative light to give us some foil on how a good and more organic way of being a Christian rises up.

– I like the wife character.

– Maybe I’m reading into it too soon. I’ll brb. Hopefully this goes the way I’m envisioning it goes.

– “you’re preaching! It weirds people out!” YAAAAAASSSS! That’s right!

– Okay… cool?

– I have so many mixed feelings uggghhhhh…. like I have hope for this movie but my gut feeling deep inside is telling me it’s not gonna get the that compelling point I want it to go to. No foil character has been introduced we are going down a very easy and safe direction storytelling wise….

– just stop the movie, let me write. I cAn dO bEtTeR! 🤣 (says I who hasn’t even finished my move or written a screenwrite or anything published in my life- I CAN DO BETTER LOLOLOL)

– okay, but for realz, that is a scary situation. In real life, that would be terrifying to be held hostage in a place no one knows you are at. But the portrayal of that scenario – very really scenario – in this film doesn’t do it any justice. I’m very pulled out of anything in this story and we are too far in for me to be feeling this way.

ohhhhh 😳 power drill has entered the chat.

– I really really hate the decisions they made with dialogue.

– So I don’t mind if a movie has a lot of dialogue and tends to be slow in pacing as long as the dialogue is clever and the convos are intelligent and thought provoking and the raw emotions through the acting is felt. And now that we are more towards a halfway point, I will say that the acting isn’t the worst, it’s mediocre – which might be worse if you know what I mean. But honestly, this movie is so boring in the most dull way…

– oh, action! Okay cool… not that it’s gonna singlehandedly save this movie but at least something exciting is happening.

– the action scene was so bad…………. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *system meltdown*

– I’m gonna get an ICEE smh

– ….and I’m back.

– ((I swear I’ve been in a good mood all day up til this movie so I’m not be unfair with my negativity here. My brain has already decided it’s mentally done with this movie and wants it to end already xD))

– CAN WE GET A GOOD PORTRAYAL OF CHRISTIANITY IN THE MODERN ERA? Find a good and accurate portrayal is like a needle in a haystack I swear. It’s all I ask.

– My favorite character is still the wife. She gives me INTP vibes and it’s rare to find female INTPs. She could be ENTP….maaaybe. 🤔

– ugh, WHY U FALL FOR TRAP, STOP IT! YOU ARE IN THE MIDDLE EAST FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

– I’m SCARED FOR HER.

– Ooooooo YES!!!!!! SHES SMART I STAN!

– let me reiterate this for the 50th time. THE. 👏 DIALOGUE. 👏 IS. 👏 BAD. 👏

– I’m glad that I can at least like one character a lot in this movie. If thats what I take out of this then I’ll be happy. (Plus I have an icee now so that’s always a plus. 😁)

– There are like two movies that come to mind that have a good Christian message that doesn’t come off as cheesy or isn’t poorly incorporated into the story. One is October Baby and two is Grace Unplugged. There are probably a few others, but those ones were good. This one falls into the bad incorporation of Christianity being represented. AND ITS SO UNFORTUNATE BECAUSE WE HAVE A REALLY GOOD STORY SET UP WITH SUCH GREAT POTENTIAL. AND EVEN WITH THIS IRAN MUSLIM SETTING WE ARE GOING THE MOST BASIC AND GENERIC DIRECTION WITH IT.

– And the writing is terrible 😦

– I really want to like it to but I can’t see past all the very glaring flaws.

– everything that’s happening in the trial is all good ^_^

– ….UMMMMMM THAT WAS BS.

– THAT WAS THE MOST ANTICLIMACTIC WAY TO DO THINGS.

– I knew he wasn’t gonna die, but that was so blatant and bad.

– and every lacklustre action scene (or action tease) is ridiculous

– this movie is literally nothing but build up and exposition and then an anticlimactic action scene… you can tell this movie was low budget. There are movies out there with low budgets but they make up for it with really good writing or clever tricks that work around with what they have. This movie wasted so much potential it’s so sad.

– they made a brief nod to COVID. LOL! I’m so done with this movie! ARE WE DONE YET?

– okay is this the climax? This better be good. IT BETTER BE ONE HELL OF A CLIMAX 🤣

– and honest to God, that was really a very incredible action finale.

– and then it abruptly ends 🤣

– well there’s that, at least it was fun in the end, I’ll give them that!

– ….I’m never watching this again. 🙃

Movie Review: The Personal Life of David Copperfield

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Synopsis

This is the story of the life of David Copperfield as written by David Copperfield himself and boy, is it a chaotic life indeed.

~

“Don’t worry. You’ll make it through. And you’ll have quite the ride on the way.

~


Reaction Notes

**SPOILER WARNING**

– Before: I kind of have been putting off this movie because it just wasn’t peeking my interesting and there was zero marketing for it. But I finally saw some form of mini trailer on Instagram saying “hey, you! Yeah you! This movie is good! Watch it 👀” and now I’m here lol

– This is the most bizzare pregnancy scene. It’s so light and drama at the same time xD How would you feel if Tilda Swinton just walked in like that I just- 🤣

– I love how she just walked in and lectured her and just sat there and did nothing 😂

– You know, maybe this is just me, but I never understood why people hate it when it’s a boy and not a girl or vice versa when they are born. LIKE? ITS A BABY AND DOES IT MATTER ALL THAT MUCH???

– Oh gosh, handshaking is so awkward. Why is that a greeting? I’m not coordinated enough to figure it out. There should be a class in shaking hands or some military training came. Or since cancel culture is a thing, let’s C A N C E L handshaking lololol.

– :O that bedroom is the tiniest thing ever, but it’s a whole aesthetic and I wants it.

– That is such a cool place to grow up! :O and with friends and it’s all cozy. I miss childhood x_x

– …oh. 😦 it’s all imaginative? 😥

– Oh no I thought this was gonna be feel good! :O I forgot about David Copperfield in history class so I forgot if it’s depressing or adventurous or not; his story that is.

– 😦 Um, //NO//

– WHAT A VERY DIFFICULT LIFE! 0.0

– I’m so glad we have child labor laws. I can’t imagine growing up like this. :/

– I lowkey love how they showed you this imaginary beautiful childhood that he’s daydreaming about and then the movie takes a 180 and thrusts you into reality. It was jarring and really well done honestly.

– 0.0 Whoa, this couple is kind of too eccentric and colourful. I’m overwhelmed…

– I’m so proud of him! He’s adapting to the lifestyle and seeking out joy with what’s he’s got! That takes a lot of strength.

– They just took all the stuff- this is a series of unfortunate events.

– I want to believe between the time jump things were going okay for him and the narrative is just focusing on all the bad stuff because my /gosh/ I feel so bad for him. I’m sympathize with him and the actors playing him are really selling his personality to me. He’s actually relatable.

– ((*quick Myers Brigg detour*)) If anyone cares, HES INFP AND SO AM I SO NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE! I totally vibe with David Copperfield! 😁

– I really really love Swinton’s character! XD

– I see the appeal to this movie. All the characters are so colourful and have very strong personalities and my boy David just be observing all of them as we follow along on the journey from his point of view.

– I love how creative this is. The movie could have gone a very mundane and bland biopic route or even a dark and bleak one considering everything that’s going on. But as well as David Copperfield is INFP, so is the direction and narrative. The narrative reveals a bunch of hope and curiosity and childlike wonder. I personally am falling in love with everything about this movie’s whimsical glee.

⁃ I love how he showed up to his aunts house and infectiously spread his joy to the whole family and they are all running around like energetic kids flying a kite

⁃ Oh my gosh, I’m obsessed with the whole aesthetic with this movie. This is my kind of movie. I’m so so surprised and happy!

⁃ I’m gonna give a very biased score on this I’m sorry not sorry. This movie is //MINE//.

⁃ I have //TEARS//. And not because there is an emotional scene, I’m just so happy. I don’t even think we are halfway through the movie and I have so much serotonin my gosh-

⁃ I just realized we still have a lot of movie time left and anything can happen to change my mind on this movie and that thought scares me because I’m IN LOVE with this movie NOTHING BETTER RUIN IT ISTG.

⁃ :O STORYTIME??? ITS ALL VIOLENT AND DRAMATIC AND CREATIVE AND EXAGGERATION! THIS MOVIE GOT EVEN BETTER AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

⁃ Omg, there is a fight! 😂 He literally said fite me! 🤣

⁃ MY BOY JUST GOT KNOCKED OUT AFTER TWO PUNCHES AND HE DID NOTHING! MEEEEEEEEE LMAO 😭

⁃ GUYS! I FOUND MY FAVORITE HISTORY CHARACTER ITS DAVID COPPERFIELD!

⁃ This movie might be a highlight of 2020 for me. I cancelled 2 movie tickets before forcing myself to finally seeing it today and expected it to be so boring and long and a waste of time only for it to literally splash water on my face and scream at me “WAKE UP SOMBER DEPRESSED CHILD IM THE BEST MOVIE” and now this might be my top film of 2020??????

⁃ ((Apologies if I’m just excessively praising this movie, it’s just really good ok.))

⁃ This will even go on my must watch INFP Movie List that I’ve been thinking about making at some point because I wanna make some Myers Briggs and Enneagram related stuff on either here or YouTube. 👀

⁃ “I’m sure there must be a bible story about that” 🤣

⁃ …I WANT TO BLU RAY SPECIAL EDITION DELUXE OF THIS MOVIE SO I CAN WATCH IT 1,000 TIMES-

⁃ At this point I’m not even focused on critical analysis I’m so sorry, but I must…

⁃ *PUTS AWAY PHONE*

⁃ *comes back to make more internal screaming and non coherent happy noises*

⁃ ((I really enjoy this movie leave me alone lol DONT JUDGE ME))

⁃ “I AM DAVID COPPERFIELD” NO WAY MY KING! 😂 LOVE THIS SOCIALLY AWKWARD MAN!

⁃ I JUST LOVE HE FOUND LOVE OKAY! I LOVE THAT FOR HIM!

⁃ “I’ll bring something to throw at you… like a bouquet of flowers or something” AND THEN THEY THREW IT AT EACH OTHERS FACES IM DECEASED BECAUSE SAAAAAME! 😂

⁃ AHHHHH NOW ITS LIKE A SILENT FILM! I LOVE THE RANDOMNESS AND QUIRKINESS OF THIS MOVIE

⁃ THIS MOVIE HAS NO RIGHT TO BE THIS GOOD!

⁃ My new theory is that the narrative is a ENFP’s take on an INFP’s life’s story.

⁃ THAT WAS SO GOOD! THE PROPOSAL SCENE!

⁃ OH MY GOSH STOOOOP THIS IS TOO GOOD!

⁃ This movie is spiraling into chaotic creativity and I’m all here for it!!!!

⁃ There is never a dull moment in this.

⁃ I JUST REALIZED…WONG FROM DOCTOR STRANGE IS IN THIS! I LOVE HIM!

⁃ I love how this movie doesn’t take itself seriously AT. ALL. And yet at the same time you feel the gravity and heaviness of everything that is going on.

⁃ What a busy and stressful life full of problems and barely making it and just- how he handles it is inspiring.

⁃ AWWWW HES AT HIS BOAT HOME!

⁃ “It’s not as colorful as I remembered it” oh ouch. 😦

⁃ I hate it when things are not as amazing as nostalgia tells you it is.

⁃ They are still engaged? 😦

⁃ Why am I just so terribly sad.

⁃ I love you James Steerforth 😦

⁃ CAN WE REALLY TALK ABOUT THE SET OF THE BOATHOUSE THOUGH? ITS FREAKING AMAZING!

⁃ :O SAY WHAT! EMILY AND JAMES LEFT????

⁃ OH MY //GOSH//

⁃ …guys I’m taking so many L’s This is based on a Charles Dickens book and I don’t even know if David Copperfield is a real person or not HELP 🤣 my blind love for this movie is really revealing a lot of things I’m being ignorant about on the context xD

⁃ I don’t even think I mentioned that the dialogue is so clever on this too.

⁃ I’m gonna be so embarrassed with this review I already know BUT THESE ARE MY GENUINE REACTIONS AND ANALYSIS SO WE KEEPING IT BECAUSE I //ADORE// THIS! I don’t read that much, but maybe I’ll even read this book omg.

⁃ YES GET THAT KITE BACK!!!!!!

⁃ I love all the exaggerations on these characters personalities. They are taken to their extreme stereotypes but never in an annoying way. They are all truly the best.

⁃ Yeah I just confirmed for myself that David Copperfield is in fact a fictional character and I don’t know crap my bad xD

⁃ Omg hes writing about all the people and story!!! ❤️

⁃ HES WRITING HIS STORY AND THE PEOPLE INVOLVED IN IT IM CRYING!

⁃ Yo, not gonna lie, I’ve had goosebumps this entire movie.

⁃ YES ANGNUS! SAVE THE DAY!

⁃ Whoa, now this guy with the ugly looking bangs MR HEAP is a prick!

⁃ ALL THE SLAPPING 🤣

⁃ ;O GIRL IM CRYING! YOU SO FIT OMG!

⁃ I think Emily had like 3 minutes of screen time and I’m attached to her character too and that is wild to me.

⁃ JAMES ISTG YOU BETTER NOT DIE

⁃ THE DRAMA! OOOOOO THE DRAMA!

⁃ …. :O

⁃ 😥

⁃ See here the thing though! There are gonna be people that are gonna hate this movie and say that it was random and a mess and make no sense! BUT LIKE, I BEG TO DIFFER! This movie is chaotic and creative and the story is all over the place and not told in a very structured way at all but that is literally what resonates with me. I’m attached to this story because it reminds me of my head and how when I’m storytelling or I’m writing my novel, I’m overwhelmed with the directions the story can go and I get lost in the big picture of it all and I provide all the unnecessary detail and it feels like I’m just rambling and never ever gonna get to the point. THIS MOVIE ENCAPTURES ALL OF THAT FOR ME AND I HOLD IT CLOSE TO MY HEART

⁃ THIS WAS A LOVELY AND INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE.

⁃ One of my favorite movies of all time my GOSH!


Plot (22/25)

– Pacing (4/5)

– Quality (5/5)

– Structure (3/5)

– Immersion Meter (5/5)

– Ending (5/5)


Music (25/25)

– Soundtrack (10/10)

– Tone (10/10)

– Reels You In (5/5)


Cinematography (25/25)

– Camera (10/10)

– Special Effects (5/5)

– Direction (10/10)


Characters (25/25)

– Main (12/12)

– Supporting (8/8)

– Minor (5/5)


The Bias Meter: the score is at 97/100 but I think you all already know that I’m gonna round it up to 100 lol.


Overall 100/100 (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)


Catching Up: Birdbox

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

It’s been two years since this films release and I never got a chance to see it. There are several times I almost watched it but I never got the chance. Let’s input some reaction notes and score it. ☺️


**Spoilers**

Reaction Notes

– Sandra Bullock plays a very aggressive mom 0.0

– soooo…is this A Quiet Place Except instead of sound it’s sight?

– Oh okay. Flashback. Huh.

– Sarah Paulsooon ❤️

– Oh…what kind of psychological attack is this 0.0 If this is gonna be some strange mental warfare phenomena, I’m gonna vibe with it ^_^

– It is kind of weird how nonchalant these characters are acting when tens of thousands of people have died in Europe…

– Oof, the banter in the hospital is a very jarring and uptight scene. :/

– Uhhhhhhh O________O

– Oh wow we are just getting thrown in.

– I’m hella stressed.

– JESS :O

– 😮😮😮😮😮😮😮

– THIS PREGNANT BULLOCK DIDNT GET INJURED???

– JESS OH MY-

– OH NO 0.0

– OH MY GOOOOOSH

– I NEED EXPLANATION AND ANSWERS FOR THIS CHAOS!!!

– I can’t believe Sarah Paulson got 5 seconds of screen time and then got plowed by a dump truck. That doesn’t feel right.

– All the people in this house are gonna get killed off one by one.

– LOOK AT WHAT?

– …so we got all kinds of one-dimensional characters in a room with different worldviews trying to survive sort of cliche…

– I’m also getting The Mist vibes from this.

– This bald man is gonna be the death of me. He is blaming the friggin pregnant lady for his wife’s choice to go out and save her! HUH??!

– Soooo now we are jumping forward. Interesting storytelling choice.

– Oh look, we got a bird in a box! Get it, Eh? EHHHHH?

– I know one of those kids is her child. Who is the second one?

– Now jump back. Taking a page from Once Upon A Time I see…

– OKAY, pointing a gun at him is gonna make it worse.

– OHHHHHHH….there is a second pregnant lady.

– This unnamed bald man is really bugging me 🤣 I dun like him.

– “ok, we’re all good” that’s when something bad happens though lololol.

– Aw, Greg 😦

– YOU CANT EVEN LOOK AT A SCREEN OF IT! 0.0

– …Okay, how are they gonna escape? 0____0

– ….Aw, she wants to name her daughter a Disney character name ❤️ SANDRA, SHE PRECIOUS! BE FREN HER.

– PFFFT, well that is awks

– The… flashforward scenes are so weird to me. Because it feels like we already know everyone died except for Malorie and the two kids.

– THIS GUY IS SCARY AS HECK. 0.0

– IM SCARED SCARED IS ME.

– I feel like it’s scarier knowing that she’s ROWING A BOAT DOWN THE RIVER WITH A BLINDFOLD ON AND TWO KIDS WITH BLINDFOLDS AND SHE CANT SEE ANYTHING SHES SHOOTING AT AND OMG!

– ….OH MY. BLW WE ARE DRIVING A CAR BLIND. O_O

– THAT IS RIDICULOUS THERE IS NO WAY THAT SHOULD WORK?

– THEY ROLLED OVER A MANS HEAD??? THAT IS SO MESSED UUUUUPPP

– I HATE THIS LITTLE CAR TRIP THROUGH HELL!

– Usually in survival movies I brainstorm ways to survive… but this one. No. I would DIE IMMEDIATELY. I look around at anything and everything.

– Now that they are in a supermarket I’m totally getting The Mist vibes 100%.

– Bro… chill tf down. You are being creepily forward.

– How is a movie so interesting and lackluster at the same time!

– Douglas needs to die lmao!

– Douglas has a point but it lacks morality.

– This guy is so sus.

– I don’t trust any guy named Fish Fingers lol.

– I mean, I wish I really knew more about Charlie to care… the characters are pretty bland.

– Has it really been only 50 minutes???? ….oh no this is gonna be a pain to get through x_x

– All the boat scenes really keep me on edge.

– She really military talks to these kids 😂

– Heck, I would too under all this stress.

– I think the lackluster part of this film is that they really could have explored more of the mental health aspect in this and elaborate on themes involving suicide. Suicide is such a heavy and hard topic to discuss about and this movie could have really done something very profound with its materials.

– This stupid kid is standing in the boat for WHAT???

– IF THIS KID GETS HURT I’LL BE SO UPSET!

– YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO STAY IN THE BOAT!!!!!

– …*sigh* I WAS SO SCARED SHE WAS GONNA DIE!

– Malorie is so so stressed and angry I can’t 😂 I don’t know if this is a good role for Sandra Bullock honestly. Also I’m still upset how quickly Sarah’s character died. She should have been Malorie instead.

– …ugh, I don’t like Malorie and Tom together. There was no chemistry between them really.

– HE JUST WALKED IN??

– …Oh! 0____0 SO. PSYCHOPATHS ARE TERRIFYING IN THIS SCENARIO! LIKE AS IF THEY ALREADY AREN’T SCARY ENOUGH! That makes sense but I’m scared!

– Yeah, Gary needs to go. He gives me a terrible vibe.

– HOLY CRAP! YOU DID DOUGLAS LIKE THAT??? I HATE HIM BUT I AGREED WITH HIM FOR ONCE!

– “I’m so soft and spoiled” ….who even are you? You are actually very annoying lololol

– I just don’t connect with any of the characters. None of them are truly likeable honestly.

– NOW WE ARE GOING THROUGH RAPIDS WITH FOUR YEAR OLDS????

– ONE OF THEM HAS TO LOOK? 😭

– WHY DO WE HAVE TO BRING THE KIDS INTO THIS?

– Yeah, let’s flashback please. I’m not mentally prepared for that scene yet. X_X

– They are both having their babies at the same time omggggg x_x

– I take back what I said about not surviving. They are all screaming and make so much noise inside a house. Playing music. Like. If I wasn’t stupid and played my cards right I would be okay.

– GARY IS CRAZY AND YOU ALL ARE STUPID! SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO DOUGLAS smh!

– WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT BIRD????

– NOOOOOOOOOO THIS IS WHERE EVERYONE DIES ISN’T IT????

– ((again, heck yeah I would survive this because 1) I’m an introvert 2) I’m not an idiot and 3) I wouldn’t let a single soul into the house ever.

– NO OLYMPIA!

– NOOOOOOOO 😭 THAT WAS SO SAD

– NOT THE OLD LADY TOO!!!!

– OH GOSH! GARY IS INSANE! I CAN’T DEAL WITH PSYCHOS! I CAN’T

– DOUGLAS NO! 😦 I WAS LIKING YOU!

– NO NOT TOM 😭

– NOT ALL THESE ONE DIMENSIONAL CHARACTERS! ALL MY FLAT AND BLAND CHARACTERS! HOW DARE YOU KILL THEM ALL!

– AW, TOM SURVIVED ❤️

– AWWWW THE ONLY CHARACTERS WORTH CARING ABOUT 🤣 How convenient I just-

– Okay but this is a very whack storytelling choice. I have no clue why we couldn’t have had this story told linear. It would have been fine. It just… it would have been alright.

– Also now that I think about it, if this was told linear… this would have been a good video game with cutscenes. Think of Last of Us. They would be able to do time jumps and have gameplay inbetween. Because I feel like this could have also been two movies? Idk, the story is still pretty bland though so maybe it’s not worth all this thought but there are better ways this could have gone…

– …Okay but Malorie and Tom are doing alright. This feels so inconvenient and out of the way to go down the river to a community that may or may not be corrupt?

– Also… Rick… The Walking Dead anyone??? Get where I’m getting at??? 😏 Is this TWD spin-off movie? XD

– Malorie is very extreme in her methods of taking care of the kids, but I disagree with Tom’s perspective here. We need these kids to survive first and once settled somewhere then we can deal with daydreams.

– Also Malorie needs to kind of… not be a Nazi mom?

– ….this movie feels like it’s been playing for 4 hours. Are we done yet?

– This is truly a psychopaths apocalypse. I’m such an empath and opposite of a psycho. That’s what my weakness in survival would be here (BUT I DON’T CONDONE BEING A PSYCHOPATH, KIDS, I DON’T APPROVE. THATS AN ILLNESS THAT YOU NEED HELP FOR YA HEAR?)

– TOM NOOOOOOO!

– That’s very sad. 😦 Whats sadder is that I wish I was able to connect more to these characters. This movie isn’t doing it for me.

– …again, why not a linear story?

– …here come the rapids. X_X

– Are we gonna get a positive ending or depressing ending? Let’s find out! Comment your vote below??? Idk 😂

– AWWWW, IM GONNA CRY! THIS 4 YEAR OLD GIRL IS SO SO BRAVE AND I CANT 😭

– THIS IS SO DARK

– HERE WE GOOOOOOO

– NOOOOOOOOO

– WHERES GIRL!!!! 😦

– Oh they all survived. Ok.

– … That was so anticlimactic >_<

– DONT GIVE UP NOW!

– OH NO THEY ARE SEPARATED!

– NO BOY! KEEP ON YOUR BLINDFOLD!!!!!

– THESE KIDS ARE GIVING ME A N X I E T Y!

– GIRL BE GIVING ME ANXIETYYYY

– Girl please don’t open your eyes 😭

– The first time I actually feel the emotions and where it hits is at the end the movie lol.

– Keep listening to the birds.

– GO!!! RUN!!!

– They are safe. Okay. *shrugs*

– Oh the doctor lived? Well. Ok. XD

– Oh she named them Olympia and Tom. That’s nice.

– I feel so detached from the whole story and characters. It’s all so average and tied up with a bow that it just feels superficial. For an R rated movie about a unseen creature that makes people commit suicide every they see it like a Medusa effect, it really was very boring and uninspired. Considering what they had for the premise, they really could have done so so much better.


Scoring

Plot (P 2.5/5, Q 2.5/5, S 2/5, I.M. 1/5, E 2.5/5) 11 +

Music (S 5/10, T 7/10, R.Y.I. 3/5) 15 +

Cinematography (C 6/10, S.E. 4/10, D (2/5) 12 +

Characters (M 3.5/12, S 2/8, m 4/5) 9.5 +

The Bias Balancer: I was tired and not in the best mood so 2.5 additional points…

Overall Score: 50/100 (⭐️⭐️1/2)


Movie Review: Cut Throat City

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Synopsis

When hurricane Katrina devastates New Orleans, Blink and three of his friends set off on several robberies and heists for Cousin Bass.


Reaction Notes

*NOTE* Spoilers

– Before: Had a panic attack realizing I was at the wrong theater and had to drive 25 minutes to the right one. Might have missed a couple minutes of the beginning of the movie unfortunately which is annoying. Been wanting to see this D:

– five – ten minutes in and I’ve just been quietly watching what they set up here. This all is very realistic in how it portrays the systematic racism that African Americans face in the US. I sympathize with the MC’s story.

– This antagonist character is reaaaallly interesting.

– 0.0 UM

– EXCUSE ME.

– Yeah, no thank you 😂 That was just a very cruel and unusual punishment.

– This is my type of protagonist. I really like his personality and POV on things. I can relate with how he processes things and how he makes his decisions.

– So is giving me some sort of Robin Hood vibes. Steal from the rich to give to the poor vigilante type. At least that what I believe the direction of it is.

– We stan a supportive wife.

– OH CRAP. What happened! :O

– OH NOOOOO

– Yeah, that was such a big risk and if someone dies, it’s definitely not worth it .-.

– I can see both perspectives here of the reverend and Blink.

– Gosh all of these character dynamics and development and conflict building is really really good.

– Ugh, I dont understand strip clubs and the appeal for them at all. That’s just me, like I get; but whatever. 😂

– (I hate that I missed some of the beginning I’m so sorry. Does this take place around the time of hurricane Katrina? I’ll look up what I missed after the movie’s over.)

– GOSH I HATE THIS RACCOON. CAN WE NOT.

– THANK YOU

– NO, THE DOG. NO.

– WHY YOU GOTTA DO THAT! THATS CROSSING THE LINE X_X

– “He killed the f-ing dog.” That’s right. I hate him. XD

– His dad really is in the woods in a shack with a shotgun. :O

– Lucinda Valencia is a good character too! All the characters so far are very solid AND THATS EVERYTHING TO ME.

– It’s like I get it. Robbery isn’t something that I condone, but seeing how everything is. It makes sense. I hope there is a good resolution in the end ^_^

– Councilman has got some character growth too. EVERYONE GETS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT YAY! 😀

– I think we are around halfway through. So far everything is structured so well and I only have minor complaints really. I’m very impressed.

– This movie is so intelligent with character dialogue and interactions between others. I think all of the conversation is the most engaging part of this film. You can see everyone’s perspective clearly and the angles they are coming from. It’s refreshing to see a smart movie like this. It feels like forever since I’ve seen one lol.

– …that said, I can go without the stupid strip club (IM SORRY I CANT 😂)

– oh no, this guy is weird 0.0

– Where are we now? Oh gosh x_x I don’t like this guy D:

– Is this another pastor? I liked the other one better. This guy gives me creepy vibes I don’t know about him 🤣

– And he has some concubines too?? While speaking scripture?? Oof, I don’t like him at aaaaall.

– OH NO

– ….What just happened?

– I don’t like the direction this is going. GAH, WHAT HAPPENED. THINGS WERE SO GOOD. This new pastor character is ruining it. Oh nooooooo.

– How come he is so prominent in like every scene all of a sudden???? Things are falling. apart.

– He is too quirky and aloof of a character. Dang it, the whole flow and structure has come to a complete halt. X_X Can he go away?

– WHOA! WHAAAAT!!!

– IM SO SHOCKED. HE JUST SHOT THE CUZ!

– I HATE THIS! I NEVER SWITCH UP FROM LIKING TO HATING A MOVIE SO BAD OMG!

– Hopefully this weird character is gone now, like can we get back to the story???? Maybe????

– ….yeah, the way Cuz died was so cheap. Like, I just- I’m not okay with that.

– Back to the robbery…

– Oh nooooo, they crossed the line here D:

– OH NOOOOOO

– They really shouldn’t have done this. 😦

– OH NOOOOOOOOOOO

– ARE YOU SERIOUS 😭

– IM CRYING NOOOOOOO

– HE SURRENDERED! FOR REAL?

– HE DREW AN F-ING MASTERPIECE

– I CAN’T 😭

– ….SEVEN YEARS???? That really hit. X_X

– AFTERCREDIT!!! Oh whoa. This a pretty stuffed aftercredit scene 0.0

– After: I’m kind of emotionally destroyed. There is a lot to kind of unpack here…


Plot (19/25)

– Pacing (2.5/5)

– Quality (4.5/5)

– Structure (4.5/5)

– Immersion Meter (4/5)

– Ending (3.5/5)


Music (13.5/25)

– Soundtrack (5/10)

– Featured Artists (3/5)

– Reels You In (2.5/5)

– Tone (3/5)


Cinematography (19/25)

– Camera (7/10)

– Special Effects (7/10)

– Direction (5/5)


Characters (21/25)

– Main (12/12)

– Supporting (6/8)

– Minor (3/5)


The Bias Balancer: so far the overall score is 72.5/100. Dropping it down to 70 because the Saint was bizzare af. Lol.


Overall (70/100 ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2)

It feels like forever since I’ve seen engaging storytelling like this. I want to save more thoughts for whenever I watch this again because I missed some of the beginning and I want to save further words til then.


Movie Review: The One and Only Ivan

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Synopsis

Ivan is a gorilla who lives in a circus. ‘Nuff said.

~

“yOuR, tHe oNe AnD oNlY iVaN, pAL”

~


Reaction Notes

**NOTE** Spoilers

– Before: I have no context for this movie or the children’s book it’s based at all. It might be good, it might not. I’m literally watching this just to see Harambe’s acting debut. All I know is this better not be boring af and waste my time x_x

Based on a true story *Gorilla speaks 2.7 seconds later* Oh boy.

– CGI animal. Very true story ya’ll.

– James Corben’s Peter Rabbit influenced this movie, don’t convince me otherwise.

– Also Ivan gives me “ALEX THE LION” vibes from Madagascar right now lol.

– This is looking cheese oh nooooo. Once the animals spoke, it was game over. 10 seconds in and I already know how this is gonna go.

– “This isn’t gonna pay the food and rent… if not it’s over.” Oh nooooooooooo, it’s cliche too D:

– I hope the children’s book is better? If you had fond memories of it I’m sorry but I’m gonna D E S T R O Y this movie.

– This is the Greatest Showman on a budget in an oxymoron sort of way. Because they didn’t have CGI animals to cheapen the movie LMAO.

– WAIT…. IS IVAN VOICED BY OWEN WILSON????

– Just checked. No, he isn’t 🤣 He sounds like he’s impersonating Owen Wilson though!!!!!! I CANNOT UNHEAR IT OK.

– ALSO HOW THE HECK IS ANGELINA JOLIE VOICING A CHARACTER IN THIS? WHY WOULD SHE BOTHER.

– Please surprise me movie, so far all I know is the CGI gorilla drew a beetle on a paper. If this is a true story, that’s impressive honestly. But this movie made the animal talks and the dog farts and all the stupid stuff that I just can’t even with this.

– I feel like I’m offending some people and they are gonna be like “Luke, you don’t understand the book-“ or whatever. There are gonna be a vocal minority of people yelling at me about this istg xD

– WE GOT DUMBO! THIS MOVIE HAS IT ALL FOLKS.

– I wonder how Tim Burton felt when he finished making the live action Dumbo and then the Disney+ studio next door just peeked into his post-production and said ✨Copy and Paste✨

– Yeah, Ivan, just give it up and retire. Ruby is a show stealer xD

– Okay, all of this that they got set up is a little heartwarming. I’ll admit. It’s kind of cute.

– PFFT, this frickin gorilla is treated like a little boy OH MY GOSH.

– I DONT BLAME HER. THEY HAD A GORILLA AS A CHILD, I WOULD GRAB MY STUFF AND LEAVE TOO. HELL NAH.

– WHY WAS THIS DEATH SCENE SO FAST. HOMEGIRL SAID “Goodbye…” and LEFT LOLOLOLOLOL

– PFFFFFT “You’re on your own Ruby… now lets work on your act.” MY GUY IS HEARTLESS 🤣

– PRISON BREAK

– We are halfway through the movie and we are finally getting out of the premise part of the movie???? WHAT? The pacing on this took “slow and steady wins the race” to heart.

– Oh nevermind, we are still here at this circus. I’m bored of the environment already.

– AHHHHHHH, SHE SPIT ALL OVER HIM AND IT GOT ALL QUIET AFSGDJFKAGDA

– AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL EMOTIONAL AND SAD OR LAUGH? THE MUSIC FOLLOWING WAS SO BIZARRE. W H A T.

– 45 minutes into the movie and we are FINALLY planning an escape???????

– I feel so bad for the seal. That water looks NASTY.

– …CAN WE ESCAPE ALREADY? GOSH, IVE METAPHORICALLY BEEN IN THE EDGE OF MY SEAT XD

– Oh, nevermind, not yet. :/ He just realized that the gorilla can draw. 🤣

– At this point I’m just convinced we are just sitting down here at this circus forever. I’m so bored. XD

– MY BOY DROPPED THE CRAYON LMAO.

– WE STILL HAVE 45 MINUTES LEFT TO GO??? UGH, I FEEL LIKE IVE BEEN HERE FOR HOURS, SITTING IN A CAGE NEXT TO THEM.

– All the characters talking about leaving and saying “I have a plan” for the one hundredth time still sitting in their cages like: 👁👄👁

– Okay, N O W we actually are escaping. ABOUT TIME.

– ARE YOU SURE THIS IS BASED ON A TRUE STORY? YOU HAVE TO BE PULLING MY LEG HERE. ALL THESE ANIMAL JUST WADDLED OUT OF THERE LIKE IT WAS NO BIG DEAL.

– 0.0 THE BUNNY ALMOST BECAME FANCY R O A D K I L L

– ALSO THE PEOPLE IN THE CAR WATCHING A GORILLA PICK UP A BUNNY FROM OFF THE STREET LIKE 👁👄👁. HOW DID THEY JUST KEEP DRIVING.

– This movie and this story is so MEEEEEH.

– It’s a family movie so it’s cute, but I feel like even then if I was a kid and the whole family got together for a movie night and we put this on, we’d all just start doing other things to help pass the time until the movie was over. If it was a good movie, we’d all be quiet and watch intently. If it was really cheesy or bad, we’d make fun of it and laugh relentlessly at it. This is just so…average… and boring that it makes it worse than a bad movie because you can’t grasp onto anything.

– Ivan’s backstory is very typical, but also so far the best part of the movie. That was good! ^_^

– Awwwww, HE PAINTED SOMETHING SO BEAUTIFUL! ❤️ THAT IS SO WHOLESOME!!!!! :3

– This transition over to the ending is actually really smart storytelling. You can see things from everyone’s perspective and not really get upset with any of the characters.

– ….whoa, what is this, tears? Excuse me? …nah, my eyes are just watery, hush. XD

– DARN, I LOWKEY WANTED THIS TO HAVE A DARK TWIST AND IVAN GET TRANSPORTED TO A RESEARCH FACILITY AND IN THE SEQUEL WE HAVE TO SAVE HIM FROM GETTING HIS BRAIN TAKEN OUT IN SURGERY FOR SCIENCE LMAO.

– This is fine. Whatever. I’ll take it 🤣

– Oh, whoa, here comes the true story slideshow thingy at the end xD I should have anticipated it but THE CGI ANIMALS WERE SPEAKING AND MADE STUPID JOKES SO I FORGOT IT WAS A TRUE STORY. SORRY IF IM INSENSITIVE

– ….BUT THIS IS HARAMBE’S ORIGIN STORY OKAY.

– Here comes Charlie Puth SING IT BABYBOY-

– Oh after credit LOLOLOLOL

– DID ALL THE ANIMALS GET PLACED ON THE SAME RESERVE!?!?!? IM DECEASED. THIS MOVIE IS TOO MUCH 🤣

– IF I HEAR THIS DUMBASS DOG SAY “YOUR THE ONE AND ONLY IVAN, PAL” ONE MORE TIME-

– CHARLIE PUTH CAME BACK. SING THAT SONG BABYBOY-

– After: I’m done. That was overkill and I’m laughing so hard rn 😭

– WAIT THERE IS A SECOND AFTERCREDIT SCENE AAGGGGHHHFJG WHY

– ITS A BABY GORILLA I KNEW IT. IVAN HAD A CHILD AND NAMED IT HARAMBE!!!!!


Plot (7.5/25)

Pacing (1.5/5)

Quality (2/5)

Structure (1.5/5)

Immersion Meter (0/5)

Ending (2.5/5)


Music (7/25)

Soundtrack (2/10)

Tone (1/5)

Featured Artist (2.5/5)

Reels You In (1.5/5)


Cinematography (14.5)

Camera (7/10)

Special Effects (5/10)

Direction (2.5/10)


Characters (13.5)

Main (6/12)

Supporting (3.5/8)

Minor (4/5)


The Bias Balancer: so far the overall score is 42.5/100. I’m rounding it done to 40 because I got slightly more emotionally invested towards the end than this movie deserves.


Overall

I think two movies that I can compare this to that did this kind of story a million times better is Paddington 1 and 2. Both of these stories are children book adaptations and are in the vibe of slice of life through an animal’s perspective. Paddington lives in the UK with a family and Ivan lives in the circus with a different kind of family. But they are both in the same vein of story and premise in an unexpected way. Yet Paddington does it better by how it incorporated social norms and very engaging morality topics while Ivan just…wants to be free? X_X

I don’t think I’m gonna actively seek out to watch this movie again, but it does play somewhere, I won’t mind. I’ll just be a little disappointed because there are literally a million better movies you can watch than this one.